How Not to Make Cheese Dip
Chad and I were watching an infomercial for the Magic Bullet blender. In it, the guy made a cheese dip by simply throwing some cheese and jalepenos in the Magic Bullet, chopping it up, then throwing it in the microwave. Inspired, Chad put some cheddar cheese in our blender. He also added a bit of a green bell pepper that we will shortly be using for beef pepper steak. The final, fatal ingredient was some pepper jack cheese. We previously bought some slices of it for use on sandwiches. Turns out these slices are pretty nasty. But we don't like to waste things, so he figured the rest of the cheese and peppers would dillute the funk. Alas!
He started eating it and declared it "good." Hesitant, I took a tiny chip and scooped up a miniscule amount of the dip. It was not pleasant. I then threw away my empty root beer bottle. You ask me how that is relevant, and I tell you to just listen to the story. I dropped it towards some egg shells in the trash can; when it fell, however, I heard the sound of glass breaking. Of course, the bottle itself was fine. It turns out that Chad had minutes earlier thrown away the remains of a jar candle, namely the glass jar. The lid, of course, shattered.
Though he cooked a seemingly small amount, the general unpleasantness of the alleged dip made it seem like much. Chad gave up and decided to throw it away. Unlike a dip made with, say, Velveeta, which is rich and creamy, cheddar cheese is greasy when melted. But Chad was not fully appreciating this trait. He resolved to dump the dip through the jar lid. He tilted the plastic container in which he had cooked the dip and--it plopped out as a surprisingly singular lump.